The anti-theft alarm echoes. She fumbles as the baby cries. A formula can falls from her coat. Bystanders avoid her eyes. He offers to pay.
The anti-theft alarm echoes. She fumbles as the baby cries. A formula can falls from her coat. Bystanders avoid her eyes. He offers to pay.
9 Responses
Wow, this is great! You pack so much action and emotion is such a small space. Well done!!!
Whole lives created in five short sentences. Well done.
Thank you so much!
You create a vivid tableau with so little. This is what makes the whole genre of 140 Fiction great.
Wonderful. Vivid. Emotional. Fantastic accomplishment in such a small space.
Well written, stepping right into the action with the alarm, creating the dual crisis of poverty and theft and finishing off with the act of compassion.
Well done. Ranks right up there with Hemingway’s “For Sale, baby shoes, never worn.”
Very nice. So much told with so few words, especially the human condition.
Wow. Thank you for the high praise. Hemingway is one of my favorite writers.