My windows are boarded, my doors locked. Sheltered in darkness from your love. Better to be hidden than looking over my shoulder.
Wow … Very good
It’s amazing how much can be said in only a few words. Great job.
Thanks for your comment Steph, I’m glad you came by.
I’m envious. As my husband once said, “Mari, you can’t write anything in 25 words.” You do it in 22.
Thanks Mari. This was certainly a challenge.
A great example of show not tell, we can almost feel her fear.
Thanks Gayle. With such brevity, every word counts. I’m glad you liked it.
Powerful piece. Paints the whole picture in one pass.
Glad you thought so. Thanks for coming by.
This piece is appealing for its universal theme: the fear of unreserved surrender of one’s identity to love, and the obsession with love resulting from deliberate self-deprivation. Janet’s style glorifies `romance` without being overtly romantic.
You have articulted so beautifully, all what i was trying to achieve. Thank you so much.
There’s flash fiction, and then there is THIS. Micro-mini fiction. And wow if you didn’t nail it.
Thank you cayman. It’s not easy to achieve but I love a good challenge. I’m glad it worked.
It’s short but with of different meaning.
Thanks for sharing
Thanks for coming by Alexandra. I do like to layer my work with meaning. Glad you found it to be so.
It could be claustrophobic but you transcend it by accepting its “shelter” as your comfort and not “love”. One of the things that stand out in a short work as this is the strength of the consonants and their soothing flow, but I find it disturbed by the syllables out-of-balance in “looking over my shoulder.” I’m inclined to think it is intentional, it most certainly sets up a fierce tension. As always, you are the ‘grey queen’.