30 years ago you threw me down the stairs after the last beating. Still you find my phone number. Leave a message for who you think I am.
wow, powerful. the other stories i’ve read here have made me laugh, but this one has given me pause.
Really nice. I would change “find my phone number. Leave…” to “find my phone number, leave” That links the two ideas more firmly. As it stands, it could be read as starting a new thought, as in “Leave a message at the beep.”
Yes, I agree: powerful. Have been enjoying each day’s story. Love that I have enough time to read a short story a day this way.
I like the way it’s punctuated. I hear the pause between the periods as the angry in-breaths of the narrator. Rather than being less firmly linked, I think the periods add to the cadence and tone of the piece.
Hmm, what does it mean when your comments run twice as long as the story? Maybe that this is a great idea and a fabulous site. Thanks for publishing this to the web!