A story from Monday, September 12, 2011

Tour of Duty

She sat in the dark, bat in hand while two younger sisters slept. The bedroom door creaked open; the bat splintered their big brother’s toe.

5 Critiques to "Tour of Duty"

  1. The following was written by Amy Tripp on September 12, 2011

    Oh, wow, well done. The poor girl having to keep watch…

  2. The following was written by Gayle Beveridge on September 12, 2011

    Hilarious, I thoroughly enjoyed it. (I have two brothers.)

  3. The following was written by Vicki Martino on September 13, 2011

    Subtle… but powerful..an older sister protecting her younger ones from a predator brother.

  4. The following was written by Tim Sevenhuysen on September 15, 2011

    Interesting how much is left untold here. Why was she waiting up with the bat? Did she know it was going to be their brother? What was he doing there?

    It can obviously be interpreted in a very light-hearted or a very dark way, depending on the inclination of the reader. I prefer to see it as light-hearted. Maybe that’s just my personality.

  5. The following was written by Dodie Weyhe on November 18, 2011

    Well done Fran.Hugs Dodie