A story from Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Look Behind You

They are silhouetted against the western sky. He’s teaching her to fly a kite. I know when I’m not wanted, but I’m staying anyway.

2 Critiques to "Look Behind You"

  1. The following was written by Charlie Close on June 1, 2013

    Nice.

  2. The following was written by Paolo Jose Cruz on June 20, 2013

    The writer invokes some powerful, vivid images, but ultimately nothing holds them together. There’s a “he”, a “her”, and an “I”; other than some vague sense of disapproval towards the narrator, I can’t figure out how they’re connected, or why I should care (as a reader). And the title doesn’t give me any help, in that regard.

    It’s a shame, because I really want to like this piece. Like I said, the visuals are compelling. But without a cohesive narrative to hold it all together, it ends up feeling more like a vignette than a proper story.