They are silhouetted against the western sky. He’s teaching her to fly a kite. I know when I’m not wanted, but I’m staying anyway.
The writer invokes some powerful, vivid images, but ultimately nothing holds them together. There’s a “he”, a “her”, and an “I”; other than some vague sense of disapproval towards the narrator, I can’t figure out how they’re connected, or why I should care (as a reader). And the title doesn’t give me any help, in that regard.
It’s a shame, because I really want to like this piece. Like I said, the visuals are compelling. But without a cohesive narrative to hold it all together, it ends up feeling more like a vignette than a proper story.
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