A story from Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Little fish in a big new pool

She’s frightened by the strange badges and unknown hierarchies. Sobs silently in the toilets at lunchtime. “How was school?” “Fine, Mummy.”

11 Critiques to "Little fish in a big new pool"

  1. The following was written by Stephen Stribbell on August 31, 2010

    You’ve expressed a child’s secret fears brilliantly, I can literally feel the girl’s anguish…and all in a mere few sentences. Well done!

  2. The following was written by Jared on August 31, 2010

    That’s a mighty big story for 140 characters. Nice work!

  3. The following was written by Ann Mintz on August 31, 2010

    This is an entire world in 140 characters. Such a brave little fish!

  4. The following was written by jkdavies on August 31, 2010

    I am so glad I’m not watching anyone go through that!

  5. The following was written by Cath Barton on August 31, 2010

    Thanks, guys!

  6. The following was written by Sandra Davies on August 31, 2010

    I am ever an admirer of brevity – and this had poignancy and depth too.

  7. The following was written by Mike Handley on August 31, 2010

    And I thought six sentences was damned difficult. You’ve done a fine job here, Cath. And thanks (shaking my head sideways) for priming my overprimed pump.

  8. The following was written by Carolina on August 31, 2010

    Little fish in a big pond, summed up in 140 characters or less

  9. The following was written by dana on August 31, 2010

    This I will use as an example of how to write a complete tale in 140 characters with my college students–all seniors, which I hope means that none of them were sobbing in the WC during break today. Bravo. Well done.

  10. The following was written by Gita on September 1, 2010

    Pathos in such a tight space. Well done. I’m an admirer.

  11. The following was written by Cath Barton on September 4, 2010

    Thank you ALL! And thanks to One Forty Fiction for a great week.