A story from Friday, March 18, 2011

Kink

The rope marks on her skin were like smoke, barely seen across the breakfast table. His breath quickened with the memory of her submission.

11 Critiques to "Kink"

  1. The following was written by Michael K. Gause on March 18, 2011

    Nice set up. The end fell a bit flat/too expected or obvious.

    The smoke metaphor could have been leveraged better with something like “the space between them thick with memories of her restraint.”

  2. The following was written by Gayle Beveridge on March 19, 2011

    A potent story, although I thought the title gave it away too early.

  3. The following was written by joy on March 20, 2011

    I really liked this one. It was saucy without being overly explicit.

  4. The following was written by Robert B on March 21, 2011

    I thought this was very clever. It definately leaves the imagination open.

  5. The following was written by Frank Oliver on March 21, 2011

    Maybe I have a dirty mind, but without looking at the title I would of thought they had a kinky evening. I enjoyed this one more than “He Thinks/She Thinks”

  6. The following was written by Shane B. on March 21, 2011

    I enjoyed this one very much. The imagery of the smoke around her wrist is very powerful, although I do agree, the title gives the theme away too quick. I think that the title needs more ambiguity.

  7. The following was written by dana on March 21, 2011

    I like it. All the way. From title to ending beat. Well done!

  8. The following was written by JK on March 22, 2011

    Very sexy! Well done!

  9. The following was written by A.G. Carpenter on March 22, 2011

    Thank you for the kind words and suggestions. :)

  10. The following was written by robin t. on March 29, 2011

    Why does this have be male pov and dom. Don’t we all submit in play? Why not an inclusive “our” replacing every possessive pronoun?

  11. The following was written by Scarlett Parrish on March 29, 2011

    No, we don’t all submit in play; submission, by its very definition, requires there to be a dominant partner otherwise there’s no-one to submit TO.

    Using ‘our’ instead of ‘his’ or ‘her’ would put both partners on an equal footing, deleting the value of submission and though in a D/s relationship both are of equal VALUE, the dom and sub have vastly different roles.

    /soapbox

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