A story from Friday, October 28, 2011

Corruption

No blood-washed fangs. No neck bolts. Instead, his monster lurked deep inside, sensuous and slimy, grasping for freedom. She’d know it soon.

9 Critiques to "Corruption"

  1. The following was written by Tim on October 31, 2011

    Ooh, yeah–preach it!

    (Great tweet.)

  2. The following was written by Juliana on October 31, 2011

    Hey! When did you meet my ex-brother-in-law? LOL Very creepy…I can just see this guy sitting on a bar stool looking normal, and a woman thinking, “Hmmm… he looks nice…” Brrr!

  3. The following was written by Rose Gardener on October 31, 2011

    This could be interpreted several ways- sexual predator, con man or just evil intent in a nasty character. Well done.

  4. The following was written by Jeanette on October 31, 2011

    Oh, jeez! That’s daylight horror right there. I love the certainty at the end. I’m always amazed how much plot and punch you can deliver in 140 characters. Terrific!

  5. The following was written by Jackie on October 31, 2011

    Whoa! This was chilling. Sometimes the scariest thoughts are those that come from within. This is strong and concise and tells an impressionable story in a nutshell. “Sensuous and slimy” evoke two strong emotions of pleasure and revulsion, both at the same time. Great job!

  6. The following was written by Kim Martin on October 31, 2011

    WOW! that just gave me goosebumps! I agree with all of the above comments.I also like the certainty at the end!

  7. The following was written by Amy Tripp on November 1, 2011

    Tim: Ha! Thanks!

    Juliana: Remind me NEVER to meet your ex brother in law. *shudders* Thanks!

    Rose: Thanks so much! I love how every reader can take something different away from a story.

    Jeanette: I love crafting these little morsels. So much fun trying to convey meaning with so little. Needing to cut one letter, though, can be tough, LOL. Thanks!

    Jackie: Thank you! Yeah, the worst monsters are all too human.

    Kim: Thanks for reading and leaving a comment! Sorry for the goosebumps. LOL

    Amy

  8. The following was written by @faerieknight on November 13, 2011

    your kind of monster is probably more terrifying than vampires or frankensteins – well done!

  9. The following was written by Jackie on October 2, 2012

    Wow, you conveyed a lot of meaning in a few chilling words. Well done. This gave me goosebumps. Are you still writing?