A story from Friday, June 14, 2013

Caveat Mafioso

“Take her out!” Jules was told. So he did. It was a nice clean shot too. But then his boss phoned to ask if his wife was having a good time.

5 Critiques to "Caveat Mafioso"

  1. The following was written by Carolyn Cornthwaite on June 17, 2013

    Ha, I enjoyed this – made me smile.

  2. The following was written by Paolo Jose Cruz on June 20, 2013

    Clever! The risk in doing any humorous microfiction piece is that it can read like a self-contained gag, rather than a story, in its own right.

    In this case, the writer made it work. I got a sense that Jules is somebody who takes pride in what he does, no matter how unpleasant. And I actually felt that lump-in-my-throat “oh crap” sensation, when I got to the ‘punchline’. It seemed like Jules just wanted to do a fine job. And the reader KNOWS it’s not gonna end well for him.

  3. The following was written by Ben on June 20, 2013

    Thanks :-)

  4. The following was written by Von Rupert on June 20, 2013

    Oops. For some people, you have to be super clear. LOL! Nice story, Ben :)

  5. The following was written by Charlotte West on February 6, 2014

    Good one! Very easy to visualize.